Bold, loving and sensible.

Evening all.
I'm going to try to squeeze something coherent out, though the alarm is optimistically set for 9am, for starting the revision early in order to picnic on the Vale with some of the best people around tomorrow lunchtime.
Things are grand and groovy, revision happening, sometimes sporadically, but have a lot of peace about the exams and extremely pleased to be back in Brum for, amongst other things:

-Catching up with some very lovely people whom I love....(Flowers remain optional).
-Getting stuck in with the youth group and settling back into Oasis
-Jamming in the house with some top movers, Messers Taylor, Miller and (in spirit) Dickens busting some moves that are seldom seen there, especially on Latin night.
-Seeing United progress to the final in style
-Seeing Chelsea fail to progress to the final in style, and seeing the reaction friends' reactions.(read:friend singular, ie Mr. Strain)
-Shocking my body into (and swiftly out of) a football tournament.
-Worms, Fifa and Pro Evo battles
-Far too much bacon.

All in all; life is grand, balanced, and thankfully being increasingly focussed on the one who matters in everything that goes on.

It's been a while...apologies...I finally found the catalyst to sort this post out and bind it together though.

It begins with some fresh-faced young chaps from Sheffield, that cheeky bunch, The Gentlemen. Their first outing, 'Smile back at me' was the was (and indeed remains) my favourite indie/breakbeat album full stop- a rare achievement to lure me away from straight up rock.
It has a diversity across genres that new bands rarely exhibit, and an honesty in the lyrics that weaves faith, relationships and personal reflection together under a funky, well produced album. Top marks for being unique, relateable, and evidently committed to getting truth into the tunes.

Their sophomore album came out a few days ago, ambitiously titled 'A Candid History of Faith, Hope, Love'.
I have been looking forward to this album for a good few years and have to say that my expectations have been met and exceeded. The above recipe has been largely unchanged, but there's nothing wrong with that, and the boldness of the title and cover art are warranted.
Upon the first few listens, a few tracks stand out from an excellent bunch;

'Unique', which is musically compelling- guitars are layered and a synth adds atmosphere, building to a rousing, rocky outro. It talks of our uniqueness as individuals, and then, for the most part, lifts its gaze higher and acknowledges God's ultimate uniqueness, wherein one can have trust in Him to the point of saying: "break me and make me everything you want me to be".
The second that stands out is 'Protest Music'.
These guys don't shy away from bold and emotive titles, and yet again, this doesn't disappoint.
Musically, it's definitely a song that I'm prone to head-bop and stomp to during the verse and allow it to progress into jumping and wild head swinging and air-drumming in the chorus.
But it's some of the lyrics of the song that grab hold of me:

"Wanna know a loving nation, wanna see a people free,
Wanna be a new creation, want to hear a symphony,
Now I don't want pornography all over MTV,
I don't need a magazine to tell me who to be.

This is my protest music, this is my protest song
I don't have all the answers, but I see some things are wrong

Wanna hang out with my parents,
I've still got so much to learn,
What a privilege to raise children,
I can't wait 'til it's my turn
So I don't need your teenage angst or rage against the air,
Because I care about my g-g-g-generation, but also value theirs.

What's the point in acting sexy when you say you're after love?
I couldn't care less if you're flexy, set your eyes on things above,
I don't want your underwear, no, please don't come backstage,
All I want's a wife that cares who loves me through old age."

It addresses some of the things that I struggle with and see wrong with the world, and a catchy, poppy song is a seemingly innocuous place where truth and peaceful rebellion against worldly ways can wriggle into consciousness.

Red Hot Chilli Peppers suggest that 'music is the great communicator'.
They certainly have a point...music is incredibly effective to get a message across, and it is about the things in the song, amongst others, that we should be protesting about in our own ways.

However, in a more general sense, the rebellious U-turn against the world comes in the way that we live every day, once we spend time with God and realise why we're trying to do things differently.

I've been reading the letters to Timothy lately, and this verse (2Tim 1:7, TM) hits me:
'God doesn't want us to be shy with His gifts, but bold and loving and sensible'

This is a fantasitc marrying of three essentials in all ministry.

The blueprint seems to be uncompromising conviction and faith in His sufficiency, speaking out with confidence because of His (and therefore our) love for others, communicating in a relevant, sensitive way that isn't small minded, judgemental or alienating*, which, tragically and somewhat bizarrely, is the way that a Gospel of immeasurable grace, forgiveness and love sometimes comes across as.

Oh...my heartfelt prayer is that I become a man that shares God and his gifts in that bold, loving and sensible way.

But I have to ask myself;

How infrequently do I achieve all three of these at the same time?
In an attempt to be helpful and do things from a place of love, I'm frequently not sensible, I'm insensitive and tactless.
Or I do things out of duty without love.
Or in a chronic bout of cowardice, I use 'sensibleness' as an excuse as I fail to be bold and speak out about how amazing He is.

I really want to do the things He's told us to do and bless others with the gifts He gives, but sometimes I can't seem to connect all the dots at the same time by myself...
The big lesson I'm beginning to learn is that Jesus is as sufficient to help me do this as He is to forgive me and save me.
He brings the balance between these things (boldness, love and sensibleness) along with the gifts themselves in order for them to be effective and helpful.

Like pretty much everything that Jesus taught, (preaching the gospel, loving the Father and our neighbours, having faith, even being perfect) we don't just get an instruction to 'do' or 'be' them ourselves, we don't even just get the gifts, but we get the capacity from Him to be able to 'do' and 'be' them and use the gifts properly for Him.

He doesn't leave us stranded. He doesn't abandon us with just an instruction manual.

He comes along side and teaches us on the job, like an apprentice being shown how to use the tools of a master-craftsman by the main man himself.

It's tough to reach that place and stay there though- I've found that selfishness and pride make even ministry about us; it becomes our work, our responsibility, our little Gospel projects, and often our failure, frustration and guilt when our own driven endeavours come to nothing...."why isn't my friend saved yet?"..."why doesn't that work?"..."why is living as a Christian such a slog sometimes?"....

All these are questions that have come into my head, and stepping back to observe what I'm doing and why I'm doing them allow me to reach the following crossroad:

The paradigm shift we have to make is from 'we should do good things because that's just what Christians do, and evangelism is a tiresome and frustrating activity' to 'it is a mindbending privilege to be working within God's plan, He's the reason and source of all our efforts of evangelism, encouragement and edification. Out of gratefulness and love for Him, because of what He's done and who He is, I'll allow Him to teach me and help me, knowing that as I step out, His grace is unending, so as an 'apprentice' who will inevitably make mistakes, there is no guilt or condemnation. He is the author of the salvation plan, His timing is perfect, and I will trust in that.'

Let's not get so caught up in religion that we forget why we're doing it.

So, I urge myself to live boldly, lovingly and sensibly, trusting Him for all that I need, and for all sorts of gifts to be given to be used in the ways He wants.

*A word on the aforementioned lack of tact and overly judgemental attitudes.

It worries me that some Christians subconsciously (and even consciously) expect others that haven't been saved to adhere to a way of living we seldom attain (and when we do, only managing because of God's grace). If unbelievers feel like we are looking down on them from a moral high horse, rather than feeling loved and welcomed, then we are scarcely being Christ-like.

For example, if I criticise drunkenness in my non-Christian friends, (them knowing that I don't drink much) they quite understandably would feel affronted, and are far less likely to be open to anything I have to say, even if it is about love and grace and freedom.

It takes a lot of wisdom and trust to know how to approach each person and each situation so that the Gospel can be explained effectively.

But the encouragement is again that it's His Gospel, not ours, His work, not ours, grace is SO BIG, and He helps us to be bold, loving and sensible in our conversations, so let's be on the lookout to remain open, welcoming and loving rather than introvert, cliquey and legalistic.

I shall probably take a break for a few weeks now that exams are nearly on top of me.

Loving some truth in 1 and 2 Peter right now, we'll see where that leads another time.

Until then, let's keep living deeply and simply.

Take care amigos.

Inaugural Post

Hurrah. It's back. After a couple of years, it's finally that time to get all those thoughts into writing.
I'm putting it out there because I'm hopeful that someone will be able to sift through the rubbish and find some sort of encouragement or help, and to be able to do the same back.
Those familiar to the way I write will be aware that this isn't going to be a daily diary of every minutiae that goes on in my life, rather the bigger things going on in my head will hold the floor, and a bit of update will go on too.

It's difficult to do a first post after not blogging for so long, because there's a tendency to try and condense all of the past few years into one post.
That's not going to help anyone, and isn't the reason why I'm doing this.
I'm more interested in now.
So, where am I at?

A Christian figuring out what it means to be salt and light, loving neighbours as myself, and loving God with everything I am. By no means do I come close to managing this even half the time, but the grace is good and I'm learning, and have some top people around me that keep me grounded.

A first year student living in Birmingham studying Biochemistry.
It's hard, but I love it, and have some top people there too, and incidentally, contrary to popular assumption, it's served to bolster rather than sway my faith. But we'll get to that another time. Probably next post. We'll see.

Single.
I said that I wouldn't go into the past.
Where I'm at now is content with being able to throw myself into as many different things as possible, serving at church, being there properly for as many people that need me as possible, and attempting to nurture this drumming thing that has got hold of me. That means that single is good for me right now to be able to do all this stuff. (No scoffing, Russ)
I have no doubt that I'll reach the season where I focus on a romantic relationship for long term, but it's not now. And it's not time for her either, whoever she is.


Anyway. There are a few things going on in this all-too-active mind of mine, and it feels far more constructive to put them into words.
Constructive is a good place to start.
I'm at home in that horrible place of "This-is-technically-a-holiday-but-I-need-to-revise-or-I'll-fail-my-first-year".
I have a printer-box full of books and notes to revise from, and yet I can't get round to doing any. Every tiny thing is a distraction, and four days have gone with very little done in terms of work.
When I have got to something useful, ie reading the word, I've been reading around the back end of Ephesians because the armour stuff in Chap. 6 has never applied more, but before that I rather uncannily found this in Chap. 5 (from The Message):

"Don't waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness [..] So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times! Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what He wants."

I'm reminded of an old DcTalk track that said 'All the money in the world could never stop the hands of time, and a wasted day in your life is more than a crime'.

What I'm not getting at is that my uni work is useless, that's ridiculous, I'm talking more about the way I take life so much for granted that an entire day can go by without doing much at all that points to Him, or shows love or positivity to anyone, and time just disappears doing not much at all.


So right now, I'm figuring out that being studious and doing the necessary work is something that I can do to glorify Him, that's some good stuff, but to be doing constructive stuff in the spaces I'm not doing the work as well...building people up, telling them that they are important and loved, getting stuck into the word and prayer, making the most of every chance that I get. It's so cliche, but I know that's what 'He wants' as the verse says.
Just a case of figuring out what's the good, careful stuff is, and what's the bad, wasteful, unthinking stuff. I guess the bit from Phillipians about being able to glorify Him for actions is a good place to start....anyway it's clear that the heart of Christianity is not merely in the things people deem to be religious, but in the small things, the menial things, the everyday things, where we are most of the time...where is our heart at in them?
Lest I be guilty of a crime, or worse, as the song says.

Song.
Heh.
A nice way to segue into my next vein of thought.
Since the night that Tim and I played a song with Al at the acoustic night, my admiration for John Mayer has been growing.
We played 'Slow Dancing in a burning room' that night, and I got some of his stuff so that I could practice. My first impressions were that this guy could really make the guitar sing...reminiscent of a young Clapton or BB King...the sort of thing my Dad absolutely loves.
Since then he's really grown on me. His earlier acoustic-pop stuff is infectious, his latest album, Continuum, is a masterpiece, and 'Try!', his power blues rock live album even more so.
The audio for the live concert 'Where the light is' brings all three of these things together and lately I can't listen to much else (mostly Stevie Ray Vaughan, I'm loving the blues at the moment!).

Whilst listening, I was amazed at quite how good it is, but also was struck by something he said in it. In the breakdown during a cover of Hendrix's 'Bold as Love', I was interested by what he said.
He talks about how he's tried every approach to living....buying a bunch of stuff and thinking 'nah I don't like that'...shutting himself away to try become mad to make genius appear....pacing himself well, seeing a load of cool stuff at 30, making "a lot of stuff happen for myself" which he emphasizes to show he tried to synthesize love and soothing, which you can't do, and he arrives at the conclusion that the "one thing that I gotta check out, before checking out" is to "love- give and feel love for my living, not roman-candle, hot-pink Hollywood love, but 'I got your back' kinda love".
He makes the admission that it sounds corny, as I regularly do, but things in life that seem cliche are often the best lessons that we can learn, and their familiarity has bred a bit of contempt, methinks.
Anyhoo, I was struck by his admirable sentiment, and agree wholeheartedly, however....it's like he's got to this point of realising that real, gritty love is where it's at, but not really knowing why. I look at 'Something's Missing' and see him struggling with the same thing---so, so much in his life, but stuck as to what happens next. (friends check money check well slept check opposite sex check guitar check microphone check messages waiting for me when I come home.....but something's missing, and I don't know how to fix it)

Often people look at me blankly when I say that lyrics are probably my favourite part of a song. With Mr. Mayer, I can't say that wholeheartedly all the time because he's so freaking amazing on the guitar, but these lyrics highlight something very important- a case and point for my lyrics obsession.

It's very easy for me to say that materialism is a bad thing. I have my opinions, and I have quite a lot of 'stuff' that doesn't begin to satisfy, but this, from a very successful and talented chap in the world's eyes, carries more weight.
A lot of people have come to the conclusion that love is a good thing. Look at the hippies. Love and peace man.
But if it's merely being nice and 'getting the backs' of other people 'til death, and nothing thereafter, then it makes absolutely no odds how we live. This is taken to a logical, if extreme, end by The Joker in Batman, who sees the world, doesn't care, feels no love and creates chaos because he can.

I don't think everyone is in that place, I reckon most are closer and indeed yearning (more than they would dare to admit) for a bigger purpose... a reason and source for all this love that our philosophies end up at.

And before we get too near to preachiness, I'll end on that note.

In conclusion, John Mayer is a great musician with good things to say, and where I'm at is loving and having an awareness as to why.

Rad.

In next issue we may venture into Evolution and Creationism (one of my favourite things is to watch people when I'm talking about it....some scientists and some Christians seem baffled..) because that's a big but happy thing in my head right now.
So yeah, might get stuck into that.
And also more of this love-stuff....the way it actually looks beyond an overused phrase and mistletoe.

Peace out, my peoples- love you all. Really, I do.


p.s I'll try and post what I'm listening to in posts, but hardly need to this time.